Boo’s Staycation

          I returned home Sunday, from a three-day girl’s weekend.  The four of us have been friends for many years and really treasure our time together to talk, laugh, eat good food and maybe drink a little wine.  As is my custom I usually call or text Boo when I am on my way home.  “Time to kick out the dancing girls and stack up the beer cans!” I joke. 

But, when I walked into the house on Sunday, I was immediately hit with the smell of Fabuloso (think Pine Sol with a big dose of lavender) and charred red meat.

          “Wow Babe, did you clean while I was gone?”  I asked.

          “Oh, you know…I like to have everything looking good for my baby when she gets home.”

          Lest you think I am an ingrate; I know his little secrets.  Fifteen minutes before I walk in the door, he will Swiffer the entry hall, swish Fabuloso in the hall bathroom commode, open the blinds, fold the accent blanket on the couch and for a bonus effect he will start the dishwasher or a load of towels.  This is his “cleaning” routine for his ‘baby’.  It smells Fabuloso, but don’t look too closo.

          “Did you girls have a good time?”

          “Always!  We talked and laughed the whole time and made a charcuterie board with fresh shrimp on the side.

          “What kind of board?” 

          “Cheese, crackers, olives..just snacky stuff,” I said.

          “Hmmmm.”

          “Enough about me, what did you eat while I was gone?  Something meaty?”

          “Just the usual.  Meat Lovers Pizza Friday night then Saturday, I cooked Baby back ribs on the grill, sausage links, and a New York Strip.  I made salad and a fresh blueberry pie.”

          “Oh, and I opened a can of green beans.” (opened is the operative word.)

Boo’s idea of salad is either iceberg lettuce with croutons and lots of dressing or it is Suddenly Salad, which is not really salad.  Suddenly Salad is a macaroni, mayonnaise and secret packet concoction that has preservatives listed as the number one ingredient.

          “Wow!” I said.

          “I know,” he said with pride.    

          While I’m gone, I know he eats pretzels and M&M’s in bed and sleeps all night with the T.V. on, which is the opposite of the dark, quiet room I like.

          I know he lets the cat sleep with him, in fact she acts indignant when I get home.  She tries to get in on my side of the bed before I can and puts her little head on my pillow.

          I know that days before I go out of town, he is making a secret grocery list with all the essentials:  meat, meat, and more meat.

          I know he made a pie, but I also know there’s a new package of Twizzlers, Caramel de Lites Girl Scout cookies, and Tootsie Rolls open in the pantry.

          He watches the news and sports and an action movie on Netflix all at the same time, clicking back and forth.  Denzel Washington is probably killing someone or blowing something up in between Wolf Blitzer or Sean Hannity and all the while corn is popping in the microwave, with real melted butter. 

          Boo goes all out for his staycations.  I don’t begrudge him any of his fun and relaxation because he always lets me go and do whatever I want.  He encourages me to see my friends and he genuinely wants me to be happy, and if he happens to have a weekend to himself then it’s a win-win.  I applaud his self-sufficiency and creativity. 

Boo is a self-actualized man who knows how to take care of himself.  I would never have to leave him casseroles in the freezer for fear he would starve, and while we don’t always see eye-to-eye on nutrition or cleanliness, he’s capable and likes to think out of the box.  He’s the yin to my yang, the Snoop Dogg to my Martha Stewart.

I know Boo really likes his time alone at home, just to chill and do his thing and I’m glad it’s not with the dancing girls and cold beer!  So, if a few ribs, a little candy and 24/7 TV makes him happy who am I to spoil his fun?

          That Boo is fabuloso!