Posted in Children, Gratitude, Mothers, Parenting, Parents

Love Never Fails

 

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Photograph by Nancy Malcolm

Love Never Fails:    
It’s hard to be a mother.  It’s gut-wrenching and heart-warming all at the same time.  Most of us begin motherhood with rose-colored glasses and sheer determination to be the best parent we can be.  We weave in and out of relationship advice, popularity contests, homework, and allowance.  But, sometimes our idealistic dream is shattered when our child has a life-altering accident, unwanted pregnancy or time in rehab.

In 2001 as the Twin Towers were burning, my heart was aflame with fear and uncertainty.  My youngest child had just gone to rehab for substance abuse.  I was so afraid for her future, and I was overcome with grief.  I never envisioned that the child I loved so much would one day become unrecognizable, foreign even to herself.  I did not wish for this compulsion or plan for it as I would a college fund.  Still, it was our reality….tough and raw.

I’ve always been skeptical of those parents who say their children are perfect. Or that ‘everything’s great! She’s my best friend.’  I felt guilty and ashamed that I had failed my job as a mother.  How could this happen to my child?  At times I cried myself to sleep at night because I loved her so deeply.

While my friends were sending out college graduation announcements for their children, I was celebrating the fact that my daughter had found a job on the bus route. While other kids her age were out partying, she was struggling not to and making a meeting every day. I was proud of her in ways other parents might never understand.

This beautiful child of mine turned 23 years old in rehab.  None of us could have predicted how her life would be today…..16 years clean and sober, teaching school and being a wonderful mother to my grandson. Our lives are full of gratitude.

There are a few of us who have walked the path of booby traps and detours, not wanting to look down, trying always to look up.  We carry our children over the land mines if we can, but if they must face the struggle themselves, we carry them in our hearts.  This too shall pass, we silently repeat, wanting to believe it with all of our beings.  We work hard to remember that ‘love’ will see them through.  Love is determined not to give up on even the hardest case.

Love never fails.

 

Posted in Christmas, Entertainment, Grandchildren, Grandmother, Growing up, movie theater, movies, picture show

Big Jim by Ginger Keller Gannaway

Big Jim

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Liberty Theater, 1927

My siblings and I in a way grew up in a movie theater.   Grandma Keller owned our hometown’s two movie theaters, and she let her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren get in free.  My brother and sisters and I saw every movie that came to town. That lasted until 1968 when the ratings system began (G, M, R, and X). My parents viewed the Liberty Theater and Queen Cinema as free “babysitters.” We sometimes were dropped off at the show with paper bags holding hamburgers from Ruby’s Cafe if Momma and Dad’s night out began early. I remember strolling past a line of movie customers and waving at Miss Pearl (the ticket seller) as we made our way inside. A new ticket taker would get, “Our grandma is Mrs. Keller,” if he tried to stop our jaunty picture show entrance. Continue reading “Big Jim by Ginger Keller Gannaway”

Posted in Children, Introspection, jobs, School, Teaching

What Teaching Kindergarten Taught Me

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What Teaching Kindergarten Taught Me:

My teaching career spanned seventeen years.  Ten years teaching high school and seven years teaching kindergarten.  The chasm is not as deep or wide between the two as you might think because a 5-year-old and a 15-year-old have similar behaviors and thought processes.

Some of my most fun and also frightening teaching memories came from my precious kinder kiddos.  The first year I made the switch from high school to kindergarten, I was constantly wondering why.  Why do these kids not stay seated when I ask them to?  Why can’t they line up in a straight line?  The answer was easy….those were two skills I needed to teach them.  Who knew?  As I quickly learned, the first month of kindergarten is solely dedicated to learning processes, systems, and procedures.  How to line up, how to make it to the bathroom on time, and how to work together safely and without a meltdown.

Boogers:     Sniffles, picking and blowing are all things done with the nose or let’s just call it like it is…boogers.  Problems occur when you are not prepared for Booger mania!  For example,  the sneeze felt round the room; or when known nose picker runs up and hugs your legs passing who knows what onto your skirt; or how about when above said nose picker is chosen line leader for the day and gets to hold the teacher’s hand?  I’ve been known to hold the wrist instead, feigning a sore finger.  One must always be vigilant to pickers and be prepared for the unplanned grasp of the hand.  Although it’s not PC, it would be so cool if you could wear disposable gloves while teaching.  Is there any wonder why Kleenex is number one on the school supply list?
Potty talk, potty time and potty problems:    For some reason, pee, poop, and fart are the 3 funniest words any five year old knows.  Just say the word ‘fart’ and you will cause a group of kindergarteners to collapse into giggles, jokes or stories.  For example:  Once during an appraisal by my principal, a whole classroom dissolved with one fart.

On this day at story time, I had my 25 five-year-olds sitting perfectly still on the carpet in front of me.  We were reading a story which I was incorporating into a fabulous English Language Arts lesson on Sequencing:  What comes next in the story.  I was sitting smugly in my chair, 25 sets of eyes were all on me, my Principal was sitting at the back of the room taking notes when all of a sudden, in the quiet pause of the story….a precious little girl farted.  I tried to bite my lip, keep on reading and act like nothing happened, but one moment later a little one from the back of the group asked, “Did you hear that air biscuit?  One after another the group popped up with other statements:  “I did!”  “Who did it?”  “What’s an air biscuit?”  “That wasn’t a biscuit, it was a fart and it smells!”

Picture me calmly (I was really starting to sweat) asking the class to put all eyes back on me and putting my finger to my lips, tried the silent shhhhhh.

Chaos ensued when another child pointed out the culprit…I didn’t want to, but I glanced at the back of the room and saw my principal hysterically laughing and trying to hide his face while his shoulders were uncontrollably shaking.  He politely excused himself and said, “Perhaps I can come back later.”

I never really got it back together after that, so we went outside to run and play and return after a bathroom break, and try it again.  Sequencing lesson:  What happens after a child has a loud air biscuit?  Mayhem.

On most days, my classroom was calm and uneventful.  You know, those days when you wish Norman Rockwell was capturing the essence of your teaching career?  Those seven years in kindergarten were sweet, funny and oh so endearing.  I learned a lot about life.  I learned boogers and farts are funny at any age.  I learned to be more inquisitive, laugh more, see the joy in everyday events and love with all my heart!

Hey, sometimes “poop” happens… but it’s how you deal with it that matters.

 

 

Posted in Children, Motherless daughters, Mothers, Parents

The Dichotomy of Motherhood

Happy Mother's Day

 

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”―     Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

For some reason, this quote from Charles Dickens reminds me of motherhood, at least my pilgrimage to and through motherhood.   Being a mother is the most fulfilling, heartwarming, satisfying, inspiring, God-given gift in the world. Sometimes though, it can break your heart.  Being a mother means you are vulnerable and open and approachable, which in turn means that you can be hurt. Only a mother could cry through a long night only to see the dawn with a joyful, hopeful expectation, ready to love again.

Mothers have their own special cheering section in Heaven.  Mothers know things dads will never know.  Mothers are capable of experiencing the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  A mother is eternal.

Please accept these thoughts on motherhood; these words of description; these parallels of dichotomy; this attempt at explanation of the wonders of motherhood.

Watching….Waiting

Smiling….Crying

Heartwarming….Heartbreaking

Fun-filled….Fearful

Laughing….Leaping

Holding….Hating

Bearing….Bothering

Loving….Languishing

Exhilarated….Exhausted

Wonder….Wander

Capturing….Catapulting

Peaceful….Perplexing

Enveloping….Enabling

Helping….Hindering

Love…….Plain and simple

 

Happy Mother’s Day everyone, no matter what path led you to motherhood.  

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who has loved a child with all of your heart.

Happy Mother’s Day to those who have loved and lost and those who lost their mother along the way.  We are all the same….we who love…we understand each other…

Our blood flows coarsely through our veins and our hearts beat as one.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Posted in Children, Grandchildren, Holidays

Nannie and PaPa’s Guide To A Hoppy Easter

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Nannie and PaPa’s Guide to a Hoppy Easter:

Hippity Hoppity Easter’s on its way!  Every year we host our annual family Easter extravaganza.  Our children and grandchildren convene at our house for this eggstra special time and we pack in a full weekend of fun!  Here are a few of our must haves:

DSC_0401    Eggs, eggs, and more eggs:  Plastic eggs filled with candy, money, gift cards, stickers, toys, and chocolate!

Eggs, eggs, and still more eggs:  Dyed eggs and the contest to see who has the most creative; deviled eggs, egg salad, quiche and the most popular among the little ones….Cascarones!

Bunnies:  Blow-up Bunnies in the front yard, bunny plates, napkins, and cups; bunny coffee mugs, bunny candy jars, bunny chair covers, bunny magnets, bunny garland and a small ceramic bunny village!DSC_0377

Church:  We always go to Church as a family and cherish this time together.

Baskets:  Everyone has their own special basket….a tisket, a tasket, a green and yellow basket!!!

Outdoor activity:  We usually enjoy some type of outdoor activity whether it be a long walk, letting the kids play in the park or taking a family bike ride.  With our crew, it’s a must to get outside!

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Food:  We have our big family meal on Saturday night.  It varies with turkey or ham, scalloped potatoes, deviled eggs, cake, veggies etc.  But, one of our must haves is Sister Schubert rolls!!!!  Sister Schubert’s dinner rolls, and then her cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and the ones with sausage.  If you’ve never tried them, you must!  Run to your nearest grocery store and check the frozen food section!  

The Hunt:  After Church, after brunch, after pictures and after a change of clothes…we have The Hunt.    The younger kids hunt just with themselves and we divide the yard, so each one gets the same amount.  But then, the “older” kids have their hunt.  No child is too young or too old to hunt!     For these kids, we fill the eggs with money.  We line them up oldest to youngest and hunt the backyard first.    After all eggs are found, we line up by the one with the fewest eggs found going first and the most found go last, then we head to the front yard.  We have our usual hiding places, but my husband and I like to shake it up by finding more creative spots each year.   Then we come inside and count!  It’s not really tooooo over the top, but it gives each child a little extra fun cash for whatever they want.

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After the festivities….everyone goes home!(that’s a must!)  While we are all together, it is fast and furious.  We hop, scamper, hide, munch and laugh!  But, after all the excitement, my husband and I prop our feet up, finish off the chocolate, enjoy the quiet and begin planning for next year!

Happy Easter Everyone!

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See Soulspeak2016.wordpress.com for “What Happens at Nannie and PaPa’s Stays at Nannie and Papa’s!!!!!”

Posted in Caring for others, Children, Friendship, I love you, Parents, Poems Matter

Poems to Ponder by Ginger Keller Gannaway

For April, National Poetry Month, I offer you a few Poems to Ponder:lake house

  1. “I Spy Babies” by Shane Gannaway (my son)

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    Shane Gannaway
  2. “Spring and Fall”  by Gerard Manly Hopkins (probably my favorite poem)
  3. “Mother to Son” by Langston Hughes (strong advice read by Viola Davis & the poet!)
  4. “Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost (in memory of poet philosopher Ric Fox)nothing Gold can stay
  5. Hearts Under a Microscope by Gary Gannaway“Tis true. Science says it’s so.
    Each heart muscle cell
    Beats to its own rhythm.
    Under a microscope
    It looks like a tiny heart,
    And it sounds likeYour heart Your heartpoem love
    Your heart Your heart.Put another heart muscle cell
    Onto the same slide.
    And it will beat to its own
    Independent rhythm,
    And it sounds like

    Heart my Heart my
    Heart my Heart my.

    Once the cells touch,
    A miracle occurs.
    The two cells begin to beat as one,
    And they sound like

    Your heart My heart
    Your heart My heart
    Our heart Our heart
    Our heart Our heart.

    ‘Tis true. Science says it’s so.(Valentine’s Day, 2010)

    “Shoulders”  (cool class video)by Naomi Shihab Nye ( what the world needs now)

  6. Shoulders
    A man crosses the street in rain,
    stepping gently, looking two times north and south,
    because his son is asleep on his shoulder.

    No car must splash him.
    No car drive too near to his shadow.

    This man carries the world’s most sensitive cargo
    but he’s not marked.
    Nowhere does his jacket say FRAGILE,
    HANDLE WITH CARE.

    His ear fills up with breathing.
    He hears the hum of a boy’s dream
    deep inside him.

    We’re not going to be able
    to live in this world
    if we’re not willing to do what he’s doing
    with one another.

    The road will only be wide.
    The rain will never stop falling.

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Posted in Children, Parenting

10 Reasons Why Mothers Are Superheros

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10 Reasons Why Mothers Are Superheroes

1.  Having children or working with children automatically catapults you into Green Lantern status!  You are gifted with a ‘power ring’ that grants the wearer incredible and incomprehensible powers.“In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight!  Let those who worship evil’s might…Beware my power Green Lantern’s Light!”  You might be a mom on the outside, but you are channeling Hal Jordan on the inside!

2.  Pulling a splinter out of a moving target finger covered in blood or a fish hook out of an ear lobe, demands laser focus, nerves of steel and the agility of Spiderman.

3.  Explaining the birds and the bees, where babies come from or answering questions about “down there” requires an expert vocabulary and a quick mind.  One must discern how much the child really ‘needs’ to know or can even comprehend before you go too far with an explanation.  Holy sex talk Batman!          

4.   Carrying a solid, 30-pound toddler through Carlsbad Cavern because they fell asleep just as you arrived, asks for herculean capabilities and the biceps of Thor!

5.   Trying to get a two-year-old, six-year-old or thirteen year old to eat vegetables begs for the ingenuity of Captain America!  After all….he’s handsome, healthy and in excellent shape.

6.   Working all day, driving three kids to three different after school lessons, cooking dinner, baths, homework, preparation of breakfasts, lunches, signed permission slips, emergency stop for poster board and having a sense of humor demands none less than Wonder Woman!

7.   Losing, then stepping on Barbie shoes; dropping a whole box of lego mini pieces; retrieving a credit card that slipped perilously down between the car seats….are all jobs for Ant-Man!  We will need a sharp eye and tiny hands to handle these mini pieces and places.

8.   Thinking of what your hands touch in one day…aqua-wise boggles the mind.  Washing dishes, washing clothes, pee, drinks of water, spilled water, too much water, pee, pets’ water, baths, pee, watering the lawn etc. Then, of course, there are the trips to Seaworld, water parks, swimming pools ad nauseum.   Aquaman is the king of all things aqua. He can breathe underwater, swim at tremendous speeds, and telepathically communicate with sea life.

9.  Asking your child to do chores, clean their room, call if they’re going to be late or even look up from their phone evokes anger in we mothers.   Sometimes it doesn’t take much to turn from Donna Reed to the Incredible Hulk!  Don’t they see us slowing turning green?

10. Sometimes loving a child so deeply and intently hurts like being run over by a mack truck.  We feel the pain yet we withstand it with superhuman powers.  Like Superman, our love is more powerful than a locomotive and we believe in truth, justice, and the American way.  The mom of steel just keeps on loving!

 

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