Friendship – Page 8 – Sittin' Ugly Sistahs

10 Reasons Why Mothers Are Superheros

Posted on February 14, 2017 by Nancy Malcolm

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10 Reasons Why Mothers Are Superheroes

1. Having children or working with children automatically catapults you into Green Lantern status! You are gifted with a ‘power ring’ that grants the wearer incredible and incomprehensible powers.“In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight! Let those who worship evil’s might…Beware my power Green Lantern’s Light!” You might be a mom on the outside, but you are channeling Hal Jordan on the inside!

2. Pulling a splinter out of a moving target finger covered in blood or a fish hook out of an ear lobe, demands laser focus, nerves of steel and the agility of Spiderman.

3. Explaining the birds and the bees, where babies come from or answering questions about “down there” requires an expert vocabulary and a quick mind. One must discern how much the child really ‘needs’ to know or can even comprehend before you go too far with an explanation. Holy sex talk Batman!

4. Carrying a solid, 30-pound toddler through Carlsbad Cavern because they fell asleep just as you arrived, asks for herculean capabilities and the biceps of Thor!

5. Trying to get a two-year-old, six-year-old or thirteen year old to eat vegetables begs for the ingenuity of Captain America! After all….he’s handsome, healthy and in excellent shape.

6. Working all day, driving three kids to three different after school lessons, cooking dinner, baths, homework, preparation of breakfasts, lunches, signed permission slips, emergency stop for poster board and having a sense of humor demands none less than Wonder Woman!

7. Losing, then stepping on Barbie shoes; dropping a whole box of lego mini pieces; retrieving a credit card that slipped perilously down between the car seats….are all jobs for Ant-Man! We will need a sharp eye and tiny hands to handle these mini pieces and places.

8. Thinking of what your hands touch in one day…aqua-wise boggles the mind. Washing dishes, washing clothes, pee, drinks of water, spilled water, too much water, pee, pets’ water, baths, pee, watering the lawn etc. Then, of course, there are the trips to Seaworld, water parks, swimming pools ad nauseum. Aquaman is the king of all things aqua. He can breathe underwater, swim at tremendous speeds, and telepathically communicate with sea life.

9. Asking your child to do chores, clean their room, call if they’re going to be late or even look up from their phone evokes anger in we mothers. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to turn from Donna Reed to the Incredible Hulk! Don’t they see us slowing turning green?

10. Sometimes loving a child so deeply and intently hurts like being run over by a mack truck. We feel the pain yet we withstand it with superhuman powers. Like Superman, our love is more powerful than a locomotive and we believe in truth, justice, and the American way. The mom of steel just keeps on loving!

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Friendship

How I Put The ‘Me’ in RetireMEnt!

Posted on February 7, 2017 by Nancy Malcolm

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After 36 years in education, I decided to retire. That was six years ago and I have not looked back! Not once. Nada. Zilch. Never. Really.

I remember how I labored over the decision to retire. Will we be able to live on retirement funds? What will I do to entertain myself? How will I fill my days? I remember thinking that I was too young to retire…too young to embrace my golden years…too young to be a ‘Golden Girl’.

As a high school administrator, I sometimes dealt with some pretty challenging students. But, one day a student I was sending home for fighting yelled at me, calling me “a skinny white ass bitch.” This wouldn’t be so bad except it was the 2nd time that week a student had referred to me in an unflattering light. All of a sudden… I snapped! I mean ‘it clicked’. I’m ready to retire! I’m outta here!

It’s amazing how free I felt once I made the decision and scheduled my appointment at TRS. I was taking my skinny white ass to retirement!

At first, I tried to make a plan for what to do in my golden years. I signed up for training to be a substitute principal. I took training to be a volunteer. I said ‘yes’ to friends’ invitations for book clubs, at home parties, babysitting grandkids…I had my day scheduled from 8-5. A few months into my ‘golden years’, I broke down in tears. “I’m overwhelmed”, I whined. “I’m tired!! This isn’t at all like I thought it would be!” My husband, (comfy in his recliner) nonchalantly said, “Your problem is, you just don’t know how to relax.” And he was right!

Well, I did some changing. I started saying no to things that I really didn’t want to do and yes to my new and improved life. Yes to cruises, ski trips, vacations to the Florida Keys, yes to volunteering, yes to writing workshops, yes to exercising every day! I’ve made a vow to never go to HEB on weekends or in the evening. I’ve decided that playing with my grandchildren will keep me young forever. I’ve concluded that it’s OK to drink wine and eat chocolate on a school night.

Yes, I’ve taken to retirement like a duck to water or should I say, a cruise ship to the ocean? I’ve decided “me” time is anytime. I’ve made a commitment to enjoy every day I have left on this earth and so far… I think I’m doing a bang up job!

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Friendship

Top Ten Tuesday : Retirement

Posted on February 7, 2017 by gingerkellergannaway

TOP TEN TUESDAYS

Introduction:
Nancy and I have decided to add a bit of structure to our blog. On Tuesdays we will post a Top Ten List, accompanied by an essay that connects to that week’s Top 10.
And since Sittin’ Ugly Sistahs don’t always follow rules, I have adjusted today’s Top Ten List to include only 7 items. (Please let us know what you think about our attempt to get more organized).
DISCLAIMER: I retired from 35 years of teaching in public schools in 2014. I am truly grateful for the TIME I now have for myself and for my growing love of writing. However, retirement has also given TIME to my “lesser angels” who have been working out 5 hours a day to gain strength and power to develop:

My Seven Deadly Sins of Retirement

by Ginger Keller Gannaway

1.SLOTH – Even though I arise at 6 a.m., robe I stay in my robe until 2 p.m., watch Netflix until 4 p.m., decide to clean out my hall closet next week (or maybe next month), and leave a sink full of dirty dishes for my spouse to wash later because I need to find out how Stranger Things ends.

2. GLUTTONY – I start with a single Thin Mint cookie to accompany my morning coffee, two more for a mid-morning snack, 4 cookies for dessert after my lunch, a few more to help me fix supper, and I help my hubby finish off the whole box later that evening.

3. ENVY – Since I have too much free time to skim Facebook, I start to believe every one of my friends’ kids are more independent, better-adjusted, more successful, better-looking, funnier, healthier, and happier than my own. Plus, those same wonderful children both respect and adore their parents!

4. Avarice- With my new-found time, I decide it’s a good idea to go shopping everyday. I alternate a day with Amazon Prime bargains with a day full of the deals at Home Goods, Academy, or Ross-Dress-For-Less. Then at the end of each month, I get to better know all the thrift stores in town.

5. WRATH – Sharing my abundance of home time with my spouse makes me realize how sloppy, lazy, insensitive, and self-centered he has suddenly become. I never noticed how my loved-one did not know how to close a single drawer or cabinet in our kitchen, so around 10:47 p.m. one night I opened and loudly closed each and every drawer and cabinet and accidentally pulled the spice door back too far before I slammed it properly and broke its hinge.

6. LUST – While watching all six seasons of Justified, I become obsessed with the way Timothy Olyphant as Marshall Raylan Givens cocks his handsome head and wears that well-worn cowboy hat and struts so confidently into a bar or a backwoods danger zone, yet he still has a gentle look in his brown eyes when he holds his baby girl. So I ask my hubby to keep all the lights off the next time we make love and I have country music playing softly in the background. I also suggest total silence during sex so I can replay scenes of Raylan outsmarting Boyd Crowder in my head.

7. PRIDE – I now feel pity for my friends who still have to work, and from my lofty throne of Retired Greatness, I judge those who struggle to make it through a few more years of work. Poor, sad, tired Daily Grinders! I even forget that folks who do the 9 to 5 gig may not want to see a late night live music show on a Wednesday or to check out the midnight feature on a Sunday. Although I sorta strut through my days of freedom and semi-gloat about finishing Anna Karenina in 4 days, I really only want more of my favorite friends to be free from work so that they can “come out and play” with me. top-ten top-ten throne-retired

Friendship

5 Reasons Why “Getting Old is Not For Sissies”

Posted on January 25, 2017March 27, 2020 by Nancy Malcolm

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It seems like every year something happens…something unexpected, unalluring and unwanted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very aware of the alternative to getting older and I am grateful for the opportunity to be alive, but, can I just say…..WOW! This getting older is not for the faint-hearted (literally) and here are 5 reasons why.

#5. Huh? What did you say? Say again? These ears that once could hear a baby sigh in another room or hear a bag of chips open in the other end of the house, now evidently cannot hear my husband and vise versa. We carry on a conversation and 89% of it involves saying, “What did you say?”

How can this be? Soon our children and grandchildren will be raising their voices and mouthing their words while standing right in front of us. H i M o t h e r, h o w a r e y o u?

#4. The “eyes” have it! Cataracts, floaters, flashes, glasses and the always popular, “I’m not comfortable driving at night anymore.” These brown eyes once could spot a misbehaving student while my back was to the class. I could ask, “Are your hands clean?” and know the answer instantly from 30 feet. I even remember so long ago, when I could actually read without adjusting the length of my arm or the lighting. Sigh…..

#3. Snap! Crackle! Pop! Creak!….you guessed it, the knees. Oh, I know, some of you still have good knees, even cute knees, but for the rest of us, it’s just not pretty. You know it’s REAL when you train your 3-year-old grandchild to help you up off the floor. Goodbye mini skirts….farewell long jogs on the beach! Hello Aspercreme, knees braces and Motrin.

#2. I hate to even get started on teeth, but I must. Perhaps you are one of the few who still have all of your own pearly whites. Maybe you are the lucky one who doesn’t know what a crown is or a root canal. But, for some, our dental bills look like a monthly mortgage payment. For many, the reason our teeth look so good is that we paid for them! The good news is, no one really has to know if they’re the originals or not, as long you keep smiling and don’t tell! (Be careful with the popcorn!)

#1. Last but not least is food. I remember when Nacho Doritos were not synonymous with heartburn….when Mexican food or Italian dishes could be eaten any time of day with favorable results. Now, it seems that almost anything we eat demands a Tums, Gas-X, Pepto Bismol or Prilosec. It seems that some of the things we used to eat and enjoy, now, are not our friends and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing; it’s something we think about and plan for. Goodbye, eating late at night! Farewell, spicy foods! Hello, low-carb, high-fiber and probiotics!

Yes, it does seem that every year something happens; there is something that changes, disappears or pops up. I truly believe getting older is not for sissies. In fact, as we get older we get smarter, wiser and enjoy life more fully; it just takes a little planning. Motrin? Glasses? Gas-X? Dental floss?

All ready! Let’s go!

Friendship

Happy Birthday Auntie Sue!

Posted on January 19, 2017 by Nancy Malcolm

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My Auntie Sue was the original Sittin Ugly Sistah! In fact, she not only coined the phrase, she lived it and oh, how I miss her every day.

Auntie Sue was the heart and soul of our family. She understood the importance of being together to love and laugh. She inspired us all to be better people and at the same time, not take ourselves too seriously.

She could be tough as nails when she had to be. At 4’11” and 100 pounds soaking wet, she was a force to be reckoned with and a heart full of compassion all at the same time.

She faced aging with grace and humor. She lived modestly yet gave generously. She had a kind word for everyone and lived each day with integrity and faith.

I hope you know how much I miss you, Auntie Sue. I’m pretty sure you’ve got things all organized in Heaven with weekly Skip Bo tournaments and shopping trips. I like to think you’re sittin ugly with me every morning, enjoying your quiet time and encouraging us all to seize the day!

Happy Birthday Auntie Sue!

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Friendship

Pica Pica: by Nancy Malcolm

Posted on January 9, 2017 by Nancy Malcolm

I’m a quiet person by nature. Quiet, somewhat shy and fairly reserved. I can make polite conversation, but I greatly enjoy an agreeable lull in tete-a-tete with a trusted friend or my spouse. However, on a recent trip to Colorado, I photographed a beautiful, yet extremely vocal bird outside of our condo. I presumed it to be exotic, probably a rare sighting. If only I were a birder…..
I decided to go for a walk downtown and wandered into a beautiful bookstore. I asked the owner about the bird I had seen..what was its name? What kind of bird was it? “Magpie”, he said. “Black-billed Magpie”. “Are you sure?”, I asked. “Yep. Magpie”.
Pica Pica is another name for the Magpie. They are members of the Raven and Jay family. They are social birds, vocal and keep up a regular stream of raucous or querulous calls. Querulous, meaning to complain in an annoyed way. They are loud. They scavenge for food and are not too proud to dine on road kill. But, they are deeply loyal, and when one Magpie dies, a group of up to 40 will circle the sky and cry loudly. “Mea culpa..Mea culpa.” The Magpies will mourn their fallen brother for quite awhile and then move on.
What a voice they seem to have. They are not afraid to speak their mind and really don’t care what the others think. Pica Pica, I think I love you. You have a gregarious personality and you won’t back down when you need to say what’s on your heart. You go, Pica, say it loud and say it proud!
Okay, so here’s the other side of the Black-billed Magpie…The Black-billed Magpie frequently picks ticks from the backs of large mammals, such as deer and moose. The mammals are actually grateful for this service. The magpie eats the ticks or hides some for later use, as members of the Crow and Jay family often do with excess food. Most of the ticks, however, are cached alive and unharmed and may live to reproduce later. Let’s break this down in layman’s terms. Picas are resourceful, not afraid of work, and compassionate toward others (letting unneeded ticks live).
There have been many times in my life when I wish I had spoken up, spoken my truth. There have been many times when I should have but didn’t or could have but wouldn’t. I’m not sure the exact cause of my silence, but in my later years, I’m not as content to stay quiet or not rock the boat. I think Pica Pica is my new muse.

Friendship

I Believe

Posted on December 20, 2016 by Nancy Malcolm

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Once upon a time, all I wanted for Christmas was a new car. I believed I would get it and boy did Santa deliver!!

Now years later, my wants are different, my needs more complex, but my belief is still strong.

I still believe in miracles, dreams come true and the power of gratitude.

I believe in forgiveness, compassion and turning the other cheek.

I believe in God, family and helping others.

I believe in kindness, gentleness and being humble.

This year, I don’t think Santa will bring me a new car, but that’s ok. I believe I am already the luckiest girl in the world…blessed beyond measure
Merry Christmas!

Friendship

That’s What Friends Do part II by Nancy Malcolm

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Nancy Malcolm

This I know to be absolutely true: there are only a few people with whom you can shop. Not just anyone will do when you need a pal for a day of shopping. When you are looking for a special outfit, a pair of shoes or a new tchotchke for your home…you must be accompanied by a trusted friend, not merely an acquaintance who has not passed the test of time.

I have just the perfect shopping friend. In fact, I have two shopping buddy groups. Group A is really my best friend and I. She has stamina, excellent taste and will tell me the truth when I ask. She’s the friend that went with my daughter and me to pick out her wedding dress. She’s the friend that convinced me to get the curtain that now look fabulous in my den. She has the endurance to keep looking, the wisdom to check the price tag and she always says “Yes,” when I say, “Let’s try one more store!”

Group B consists of three Sistah-friends who are so much fun when we shop, that we might pee our pants from laughing so hard. We go antiquing, we shop in thrift stores, we help each other choose gifts for our spouses, but we know what is first and foremost of importance: “Where are we going to eat and do they serve wine?” In fact, we have been known to just skip the shopping and have an early lunch!

Shopping? Don’t go it alone!

Friendship

Oh What a Tangled Web by Nancy Malcolm

Posted on November 16, 2016 by Nancy Malcolm

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Have you ever seen a spider web and noticed all of its intricacies? Fine, delicate strings of beauty and grace, criss-crossing into a unique design, all part of a divine plan to nurture one of God’s creatures.

If you have ever walked into a web, you felt its stickiness and probably squealed or jumped and tried to detach it as quickly as possible.

In personal life, as in nature, there are webs everywhere. Sticky situations that can entangle even the most savvy. Fellow human beings fishing for information, masquerading as friends. Co-worker deviations aimed at tripping you up…..even the web of deceit that we ourselves weave. “I’ll just eat one more.” “He’ll never know” or “She deserved that!”

Oh, sometimes it’s not that bad, you get by with a web or two that harms no one in the making. But, other times the entanglement is real. The interlacing of fact and fiction snarl us into deception.

There is an old African proverb that says, “When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.” What strength! What durability! What power!

Perhaps, it’s best to leave the web making to spiders. They are the true webmasters of this world. Beware, my friend, lest we fall into a web of danger or weave one for ourselves. “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”Walter Scott.

Friendship

SHIFT HAPPENS by Ginger Keller Gannaway

Posted on November 15, 2016November 19, 2016 by gingerkellergannaway

Shift Happens.
When I studied poetry with 9th graders, I told them to look for the “shift” in a poem. “Shift happens,” I’d declare. The poem may begin with a young girl crying over a loss in her life, but then end with an epiphany about acceptance of life’s impermanence. “Notice where the poem changes course,” I’d advise. There they could discover the poem’s kernel of truth.
Making sense of this recent political shift is a challenge. I read one comment that stated, “The people have spoken. Deal with it.” However, the popular vote did not go with the guy who won. The majority of voters SPOKE for Hillary. How do we all deal with the discrepancy? I do not believe the election was rigged or flawed, but I feel utter disbelief and confusion that so many voters supported a person I consider a bully and an instigator.
I taught public school for 34 years, and I saw kids from ages 5 to 17 who acted like this person does. I dealt with fearful, ignorant bullies who mimicked and insulted other students who were different. I handled these public assaults by counseling both the bully and his/her target. Other times I dealt with trouble-makers who tried to start fights in classes and in courtyards by using prejudice and hate to spur others to violence. Often these ringleaders would stir up the more impressionable or discontented kids in an effort to create chaos. These were kids and teens. How do we deal with adult bullies and instigators?
Calm and rational words do not tame people full of unpredictable bluster and unnecessary tantrums. How did a person who blurts out immature insults and encourages others to chant asinine threats gain the most powerful position in our government? And how do the people who voted against him handle our new reality? There is no ISS (In School Suspension) or expulsion for this bully. We are charting new territory now. Teachers often guide students who have opposing views to listen to one another and to learn how to compromise and collaborate. Who will guide this self-obsessed bully?
Let me remember that “Shift happens” in life as well as in poetry. Our country has felt a monumental shift. I have given up on predictions and likelihoods. Anything can happen. Right this moment fear and worry rule my head, yet I do not know what this major shift will bring us. All of us need to be observant and vigilant. Instead of whining and crying, let us use intelligence, wisdom, and strength to outwit instigators and out-maneuver bullies. Bullies may sometimes be beaten with hate and violence. However, blustery bullies may also be subdued with clever elements of surprise. If we reach out and connect with those whose views are different from ours, if we seek to understand and to learn from our differences, we may navigate this frightening shift in productive ways. The shift HAS happened. Now let us seek to understand its message. I am still confused, but I do know we all need to learn from each other and work at finding new American epiphanies. More of us have to come together and cooperate to navigate this new SHIFT.