I woke up this morning still feeling the effects of our night of romance. Love and passion mixed with snap, crackle, and pop! Jackie Collins would be disappointed.
Nothing is as easy as it used to be. I’m really not that old but I catch myself grunting when I get up and sighing when I sit down. I sound like my Grandma! While everything works well in my body, except for the knees, I am still experiencing the need for some adjustments with …..you know…”time with my husband”! Let’s just call it making ‘Whoopie Pie.’
During our last encounter, you might have thought we were building something or wrestling wild animals. “Oh, watch it! That hurts my knees!”
“My shoulder just won’t move that way…”
“Could we stand up? My back hurts.”
“Oh! My neck!”
“Ouch! I’ve got a cramp in my leg.”
Oh my! While it sounds as if there might have been a trapeze involved, I assure you there was not. We did have a good laugh over it (or was it a cry?) and then we thought about writing a book. A sort of ‘how to’ book for the older crowd. I know it would be a bestseller, in fact, I can just see us touring the nation or even on QVC selling our Whoopie Pie Package.
We could have chapters with pictures (modest of course) demonstrating safer ways to ignite a spark…without injury. Maybe chapters by ailment:
Hip Replacement Hijinks
Birds, Bees, and Knees
Maybe even a chapter for incorporating props like a bolster pillow or aerodynamic swings. Sort of a Kama Sutra for the geriatric go-getters. Basically, how to make ‘Whoopie Pie’ without injury or loss of limb.
I can even envision a chapter on ‘spiffing’ up your gear, such as embellishing your knee brace with feathers or lace. Even adding lavender or rose hips to your topical liniment so the medicinal aroma is masked. The list is endless.
Stay tuned, lovebirds, as the book is definitely in the planning stage. For now, though, when it’s time to make ‘Whoopie Pie,’ we’re going to spend a few minutes stretching and warming up first. Maybe that should be Chapter One.