Picture This

When I grow up I’m going to go to the movies all by myself, and maybe out to eat.  I know it sounds silly and terribly unsophisticated but, I’m unrealistically weirded out by the thought of going places by myself.

Out to eat?  Never!  Drive thru’s don’t count, do they?   Movies solo?  I’ve only attempted it once.  I was going to see How Stella Got Her Groove Back, but I was so nervous that I arrived late and left early, so I never found out if she did or not.

What’s the problem, you may ask?  What am I afraid of?  There are many people who absolutely love an afternoon flick all by their lonesome.  They relish the intimacy between themselves and the big screen.  They don’t have to share the popcorn or Junior Mints as they cozy down in their reclining stadium seats.

Others take themselves out to eat after a morning of errands or shopping.  They happily say ‘table for one’ and genuinely seem to enjoy the solitude and the meal.  Sometimes even reading a book while they nibble or lunch.

What’s my problem?  Why am I so adverse to this sylloque of solitude?  Once, my husband came home after running errands and a Dr.’s appointment and I said, “I bet you’re starved, want me to fix you a sandwich?”

“Oh no”, he said, “I stopped at Red Lobster for lunch.”

“By yourself?” I gulped.

“It was fabulous”, he said, “All you can eat shrimp!”

I was so verklempt that I had to sit down.  

“I wish I could do that”, I whispered.

He did suggest that I practice.  Of course, now he kids me whenever we go to the movies.  “Why don’t you buy your own ticket and practice walking in by yourself?  You can even sit by yourself and I’ll act like I don’t know you.”

I know it sounds so absurd.  Maybe I need hypnosis?  Biofeedback therapy?  Is there a self-help book for ‘chickens’?
Well, perhaps in the spirit of being kind to myself…..I might be rushing things, trying to go too far… too fast.  After all, I’m only 63.   Baby steps, right??   My senior discount will still be good next year!