Posted in Friendship, Relationships

Skinny Jeans

 

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Boo had skated around the fact that he was eating exactly what he wanted in spite of the doctor’s warning.  “Your blood sugar is getting higher.  You need to change your eating habits and get more exercise, and it would help if you lost a few pounds.”  Still, he had his stash of candy and cookies semi-hidden on the third shelf of the pantry behind the flour, brown sugar, and the grandkids’ Capri Sun.  I use the term ‘hidden’ loosely.

It took one more threat from the doctor for the message to click.  “If you don’t change your ways, I’ll be putting you on insulin shots.  Here’s the name of a dietitian to help get you started.”  I heard all of this second hand, mind you, and it took him a few hours to disclose what was actually said because he had stopped off at Starbucks for a Caramel Macchiato and pound cake, just a little reward for after the doctor.

Boo reluctantly relayed the information, grudgingly called the dietitian, and went about his way saying, “I’m going to eat whatever I want until I see this nutrition person.”

“I’m going with you to the dietitian,” I said.

“You just want to make sure I tell the truth,” he countered.

“That’s right, “ I said.  “I don’t trust you.”

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One week later, we saw the dietitian who was a beautiful, thirty-something, tall, slender nurse.  She was sweet on the outside, but it didn’t take her long to see through his antics.  Yes, I helped him answer her questions honestly.  Yes, I ratted him out on a few things, but I saw him really listening as she explained carbohydrates, sugars, and proteins.  Almost overnight Boo began watching his carbs, forgoing desserts, using sugar-free creamer, and walking 10,000 steps.  It was a miracle.  As the pounds dropped off, he started to envision himself quite the stud.  “I think I’m almost ready for skinny jeans, what do you think?” 

 “Maybe just five more pounds?” I offered.

We went from grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with a generous handful of chips at lunch, to baked fish and Charro beans.  We had berries for dessert instead of double stuffed oreo cookies and ice cream.  We even bought Fitbits.  In fact, Boo became a zealot, watching every bite he put in his mouth.

 When we walked together, I would come home angry.  I envisioned us walking hand in hand down the road of love and health; sharing goals and encouraging each other on our fitness journey.  His focus was to walk briskly and clock his miles, no time for idle chit chat, let alone hand-holding.  So, we opted to walk separately, allowing him to go faster and me to stay sweeter. 

 Six months later he was down thirty pounds and looking svelte.  I, on the other hand, was down three pounds and sneaking potato chips.   How is it that men can just put their minds to it and make this losing weight look so easy?  I think women just have slower metabolisms and don’t forget the whole hormone thing, we’re challenged at every turn.

This year at Christmas, Boo finally got his wish of skinny jeans!  As he pulled the jeans gleefully from the wrapping paper, he grinned like a little kid and stood up to hold the jeans next to his legs.  Even though he needed a little help to pull them on, once he zipped up they fit like a glove. (literally)  Truthfully, I never thought of Boo as skinny jeans material, but I wanted him to live the dream, and he is.

“Enjoy your new-found hotness!” I teased.

“Oh, I will,”  he smiled, as he turned around and checked out his rear end view.  “GQ has nothing on me!”

Posted in Food

10 Comfort Food Hacks

 

vegetables-791892_960_72010 Comfort Food Hacks or How I Try to Trick My Husband Into Eating Healthy:

A few years ago I made the decision to start eating healthy.  I began throwing words around like, ‘Super-greens’, ‘fiber-rich’, ‘Chia seeds’, and ‘Veggie burgers’.  I started substituting the bad with the good.  I made a commitment to have spinach or kale at every meal.  The only problem was……my husband.  At any given time, any day, you can walk into my kitchen and find (amidst the kale) licorice, chips, cookies, and chocolate.

For the most part he is agreeable with my healthy foods, but sometimes when I’ve gone a little too ‘clean’, he heads for his stash!  Here are a few of my favorite comfort food hacks and my husbands’ thought on each.

  1. Spaghetti Swap:   Instead of spaghetti noodles, I always use spaghetti squash, broccoli slaw or zucchini.  I got a “Veggetti” for Christmas and I can make noodles out of any vegetable!  Just the name Veggetti gives him material for making fun of me.  He thinks it sounds like a body part.spaquettis-1377420__340
  1.  Chip Switch:  In place of tortilla chips with salsa, I use Beanitos,  chips made out of beans.  He was all on board with these until the first major gas attack!
  1.  Cauliflower is my new best friend!  Cauliflower rice.  Mashed cauliflower.  Cauliflower crust for pizza.  Stir-fry cauliflower. Raw cauliflower for dipping.   It’s so versatile and low in calorie….the possibilities are endless.   My husband wants me to put an end to cauliflowercauliflower-1465732__340

 

  1.  Applesauce vs oil:  Often I use applesauce in place of oil in brownies or muffins and then add in chopped kale or zucchini squash.  This makes me so happy, but alas...I am happy alone and left with a pan of greenish brown brownies. Brownie a la poo-poo!  

 

  1.  You scream…I scream…we all scream for…:At night, when he wants ice cream, I reach for my frozen fruit, kale smoothie!  Fresh fruit, greek yogurt, kale and almond milk.  Yummmm! I said it tasted just like ice cream and he said ‘ice crap’!  Mostly he just holds up his hand and rolls his eyes.  smoothie-drink-1966283__340

 

  1.  I’ll have what Oprah’s having:  Years ago, Oprah came out with her then favorite snack, and I became a fan.  I usually have it for lunch!  Take a WASA cracker, spread a thin layer of mayo, add lean turkey and top with spinach…It’s sooooo good and super low carbs.  My husband calls it Oprah’s favorite cardboard sandwich.

 

  1. No yolking…I love eggs:  Egg white omelets….loaded with veggies!  Easy-peasy and super healthy. You-know-who thinks it is unnatural for an egg to be all white with no yolk.  He thinks the yolk is God’s gift to the egg.egg-1460404__340

 

  1.  Just say NO to Bread:  Instead of bread, I wrap my sandwich in lettuce leaves, or put it in a carb smart tortilla and call it a wrap!  And this is another chance to give a shout out to my WASA crackers!   Mr. White Bread will only occasionally switch to wheat.  He says it reminds him of sandwiches his Granny used to make!
  1.  Holy Guacamole:  I once even tried to make Guacamole from green peas and kale instead of avocados.  I wanted to love it, but even I thought it was a little too much.  Again with the hand and eye rolling.
  1.  Dessert substitutes:  For dessert, I often try to eat fruit;  Don’t the Europeans eat fruit and cheese for dessert, too?  Or try having a hot cup of green tea with honey.  Perfect! Mr. White Bread-eye roller believes dessert should be eaten at every meal.  My attempts of fruit and green tea fall on deaf ears and a more unsophisticated palate.(Twizzlers, chocolate pudding, or cookies)5dfc629c974b699f499a6bea3c1f9f53

I know…some of these ideas seem radical.  I haven’t gone completely ‘clean’….I still love a good meatloaf, or homemade chicken pot pie.  But, I’m trying to make these little changes and make better choices.  I’m trying to incorporate more vitamins and nutrients into OUR lives, even if I am met with a little resistance.   Three cheers for cauliflower!!! 

                                                                      All hail the Kale!!!

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