Posted in Friendship

Separate, Yet Together by Ginger Keller Gannaway

Separate, Yet Together  by Ginger Keller Gannaway

FullSizeRender (1)
Separate, yet together. Family, right? We may live a 1,000 miles away from each other. We may talk to each other once a month or only on holidays. We exchange emails and Facebook check-ins here and there. We could even be estranged or separated by death or illness, yet these family members run around our minds all the time. For me, they crowd my thoughts and dreams and truly shape who I am now at age 59.
Two years ago I spent several weeks in my small Louisiana hometown with my 90 year old Momma and my 88 year old Dad. During my visit I went through several cardboard boxes filled with black and white photographs. One 4X4 picture of Momma and me really depicted the separate yet together idea. In the photo I am about 4 years old and staring straight into the camera. I’m wearing a sleeveless summer dress with smocking. I have a full, fat almost babyish face and shoulder-length wispy hair. I am not smiling and I look so, so relaxed and pensive. I’m leaning back into Momma’s arm draped around me. Momma gazes off upwards to the left. She wears a sleeveless, small checkered blouse and her short brown hair is combed back from her face. She too is unsmiling and has a faraway,  content look. Her arms loosely encircle me. We seem comfortably close and at ease with each even though each of us is occupied with her own separate thoughts.
Even though today I am far from that fat-faced girl, and Momma has passed away, not a day gets by me without memories of momma grabbing my attention and reminding me of her constant, unconditional love and how it shaped me into a mother of three grown sons who rule my world and hold most of my love.
Family. They may build us up one day and destroy us the next, yet they are with us so often, even if not physically so. They may control our thoughts and drive our actions and surround our hearts in both hurtful and helpful ways. I was so very fortunate to have a small blue-eyed Cajun momma from Ville Platte who had a heart bigger than all of Louisiana, especially when it came to her children. Every day I leisurely lean into Momma’s arms, and I face my current day’s activities with a form of independence that is supported by her love.

Posted in Friendship

Dear Haters: by Ginger Keller Gannaway

Dear Haters:
Why ya gotta hate?haters gonna hate
Someone says, “I just adore Bubble Tea, that sweet sipper with pearl surprises!”  And a friend responds, “Damn bubble tea is nas-tee! Those tapioca things are like snot balls!”
OR
I observe, “Barbra Streisand is and will always be ‘The Greatest Star’ to me!”  A voice declares, “ Yuck! Her voice is so nasal it hurts my ears!”
(Why, dear hater, do you wanna “Rain on my Parade”?)
A person I meet at a social event may enthusiastically even pledge support for a right-wing tyrant/bully with small hands. Even though I think this person is insane, I don’t have to declare him to be an idiot. I can simply & quickly throw up in my beer and move across the room.
We can give others our opinions without pooping on their passions.
Years ago I taught an 8th grader who carried around a copy of Gone with the Wind because it was his favorite book and he kept rereading it. And this student was African-American!  I did not exclaim, “What?! Do you understand the main ideas of this book and see the stereotypical characters?!” One day this young guy would better understand GWTW, but in 8th grade he loved the story, and I was not about to start hatin’.
People near and dear to me have at times expressed ridiculous opinions:
* “Keanu Reeves is a great actor and should win an Oscar!”
* “Mustard on everything is delicious, even in a fruit smoothie!”
* “Disco music is the BEST, even if you’re not on poppers!”
* “Breaking Bad is better than The Wire, Mom, for real!”
Now I did perhaps do some back-and-forth arguing with these dear folks, but I really worked on not being a hater. Why ya gotta hate? Opinions and preferences do not need to be right or wrong. They do not need to be stomped out like the small paper fire in the bathroom when you accidentally dropped the match you were burning in a box of Kleenex to get rid of the poop smell. If a person drops an offensive opinion, like a really bad fart, you don’t have to accost him with an equally stinky comment. When lives or safety are not in danger, let others have their crazy-assed ideas or obsessions. DON’T HATE!

Lovingly yours,

Ginger Keller Gannawayhaters 1

Posted in Friendship

Dear Cell Phone/SATAN: by Ginger Keller Gannaway

Note: This metaphor came to me during my 34th year of teaching high schoolers as I struggled with their adoration and addiction to their phones during class.  I explained the phone/Satan comparison and then began class with, “OK, everyone, let’s put Satan away and ‘keep him way down in the hole’ where he won’t tempt us during this important discussion.”

output_lA1TGi.gifLetter to my Cell Phone, aka Satan:
You are so powerful, persuasive, and prevalent!
Your powers travel swiftly across the world. You lure us into your Net of immense information and glittery advertisements. We mortals hold you close to our hearts, and your constant dings and rings and jingles pull us into your dark soul. (I even hear your call when you are not even calling me – Phantom Vibration Syndrome!) These days you might even be the most addictive time suck we know, even more popular than our vast array of drugs.
Everyone wants to handle and clutch a godlike device like you, filled with endless bits of knowledge, both profound and trivial. Plus your camera eye can be made to focus on me, myself and I , so I may fully learn the ultimate value of self-absorption and pride.  Come to think of it, you are the embodiment of all of the Seven Deadly Sins :
*Pride – selfies of self-promotion
*Lust – porn, porn, porn
*Avarice – gimme everything I do not already own
*Wrath – tweets of hate and extreme judgement
*Gluttony – regularly stuffing our brains with useless information
*Sloth- slouching in a recliner to call someone in the next room
*Envy – social media and FOMO
You do play a vast array of tunes and some major motion pictures; you often help rescue stranded folks; you keep people in touch with other people; HOWEVER, Satan, you are a being with many deceptive ways. As you entertain, save, and connect us, you may also be sowing seeds of addiction in us to small electronic devices that will enslave us forever.

Reluctantly yours,
Ginger Keller Gannaway

Posted in Friendship

Dancing with Daddy by Ginger Keller Gannaway

Dancing with Daddydancing with daddy1

That cliched image of a small girl’s feet atop her daddy’s dress shoes as he dances with her captures my relationship with my dad.
I am the oldest of 3 daughters of a demanding father. He has that “you don’t ask ‘why’ when he tells you to jump; you say ‘how high?’” attitude toward parenting. My sisters and older brother and I grew up with a protective mom who gave us warnings like, “You better be quiet; Daddy’s napping” or “You don’t want me to tell your daddy about this!”
However, his stern demeanor was often overpowered by his protective love and boundless generosity, especially for me, a kid who was different.
I have cerebral palsy, and my left side is smaller and weaker. I walk with a limp and have very limited use of my crooked left arm. Still, Daddy always told me I could do whatever my brother and sisters did. So I took swimming lessons, rode our Shetland pony, played kickball, softball, and a bit of basketball. And since we were a tennis-obsessed family, Dad even taught me an under-handed (but still legal) serve so I could play in tournaments.

His insistence for me to not let my disability constrain me gave me a cock-eyed view of reality. I believed I could do anything and thus I tried everything my siblings did. Not until high school did real life pull off that Dad-created self-assurance when a strict nun yanked me out of typing class because she realized I was typing with only my right hand. So like an episode of Malcolm in the Middle when the mom Lois watches a video of herself and sadly realizes she can’t dance gracefully like she thought she could, I began to see I was bumbling my way through most physical endeavors.

dear daddy
My dad, Reginald Keller, and me, 1961

 

With the awkwardness and self-doubt of adolescence, I became more hesitant and shy although I did continue to play on the school’s tennis team and to excel in French which I took instead of typing. So however skewed my self-image had been, Daddy still instilled enough confidence in me so that I believed him when he said, “Go ahead and dive into the deep end of that pool”; “Get on that pony and ride bare-back”; “Climb that tree and grab the rope swing”; “Keep your knees bent and hold tight to that water-ski rope”; “Serve to her backhand and you’ll win that tennis match.”
So thank you, Daddy, for guiding me down life’s bumpy gravel roads and through the dark halls of loss and pain. Your unwavering belief in me and your support when I clung to your belt loop as you glided me across Grandma’s big living room floor have been enough for me to believe in what I can do more than what I can’t.

Love,
Ginger

Posted in Friendship

Dear Meddlers, (or “Don’t Get Involved”)

meddler mom
Controlling my boys in 1993

Dear Meddlers, (or “Don’t Get Involved!”)

I get you because I’m one of you. Like Susan Sarandon’s character in The Meddler movie, we hate to break that close connection we have with our kids. The proverbial mom-kid cord is unbelievably stretchy and tough.
The saying , “A mom is only as happy as her least happy child” could be my mantra. I’m forever trying to fix their problems or give them the best advice on how to fix things themselves. And now retirement has given me so much time to increase my meddling. I text my three sons (in their 20’s!!!) way too much: “Dinner here tonight?” “Saw this comic about a big toad & thought of you.” “Have you written that thank you to PaPa?” “You left your phone charger here” “I’m in your hood. Want some cheese?” blah.blah.blah.
I used to be their personal chef, chauffeur, and counselor. Now they only share details about extreme cases: “My car’s on fire!” “College tuition was due yesterday.” “I have a red, swollen rash on my butt.”
Over 20 years ago on a family vacation I was sleeping on a top bunk bed, when my then 18-month-old son started crying around 2:30 a.m., and in my hurry to soothe and quiet him, I jumped from my bed, misjudged the location of the port-a-crib, and crashed to the floor. My sister and her NYC friend were sleeping in the next room, and when Gayle got up to check on me, Danny stopped her with, “Don’t get involved!” Now often during family situations, those 3 and a half words are the wisest of wise. Yet when does detachment turn to isolation??
We gotta balance our meddling with our letting go.
Thomas Merton wrote,”The beginning of love is letting those we love be perfectly themselves, and not try to twist them to fit our own image.”
So I once wiped their butts, dried their tears, and kissed their bo-bos. Now I gotta learn how to step back at times. I have to let my kids face their own independence, even when it punches them in their guts, leaves them on the side of a deserted road, or fills their hearts up with hurt. As much as I love, love, love feeding them and helping them, the smile they flash me when they share their latest on-their-own accomplishment is even groovier that the thank-you smile for my latest bit of meddling.

Honestly yours,
Ginger Keller Gannawaymeddler-2016

Posted in Friendship

Letter to Facebook by Ginger Keller Gannaway

Dear Facebook (aka Crackbook):facebook2

I don’t (totally) mean to get all up in ya face, but you did begin on an ugly note – judging others on FACE value alone. So here goes.

Once you led teenagers and college-minded kids to follow the cool road of connections.  Nowadays you are preferred by grandmas, shut-ins, and introverts.  Your first followers have moved on down a more snappy,tweety road of instant gratification.

Still, the force in you is strong, but is it light or dark?  You connect us across immense distances and times: to strangers and friends and long-lost relations.  You can be a beacon for social goodness and you may provide millions of ways to ease our loneliness.  Good stuff, for sure, EXCEPT when you give power to the bullies and  the terrorists.

So.  If we don’t succumb to the darkness or the FOMO feelings or the catfishing urges or plain old addiction tendencies, you do help us connect, share, like, and even grow in interesting ways.

Thanks.

Ginger Keller Gannaway

 

 

 

Posted in Friendship

Early Thanks by G.K.G.

early morn2

Dear 6:03 A.M.,

Thank you for the smooth stillness that lets my day begin so softly. Like my power-blue cotton robe, you wrap hope around my morning shoulders and you let me cinch some strength around my waist.
Only my dog Millie moves around in the next room as I sip and savor the sunrise through the slats of the blinds so that I can feel like I can handle the day’s approaching hours.
My groggy morning mind awakens gently as I take time to “sit ugly” and to write down the day’s list of responsibilities and rites.
I get by with a little help from my coffee and usually the rituals of practiced prayer and attempted meditation. My “balm in Gilead” solace .
I AM an early morning person.

With love and respect,

Gingerearly morn1

Posted in Friendship

Letter to Momma by Ginger Keller Gannaway

momma with coffeeDear Momma,

2016 is my Year of Gratitude. Everyday I write to someone I feel fortunate to have in my life. (You left us January, 2015). I found this letter I wrote in a notebook in 2012.

Dear Momma,
How are you? Are you happy?
These days you probably don’t miss all the work: the cookin’ and cleanin’ and shoppin’ and pickin’ up, and doin’ laundry and ironin’ clothes and wipin’ those damn counter tops over and over!
You probably DO miss playing bouree, drinking daiquiris, dancing like a doll, enjoying the picture show, and traveling the world with Daddy.
I miss some of you sometimes: your bear-squeeze hugs, your sweet fussing, your yummy, yummy “Gerry’s chicken” with rice and gravy, your extra-quick laughter, and even your strong jealousy of my friends.
However, we still have your blue-eye sparkle, your Cajun/joie de vivre smile, and that powerful love for all your children and grandchildren. A complete non-judgmental, I-always-want-you-here-near-me LOVE!
Merci beaucoup for being my truest fan and my absolute rock of loving support.

Love,
GingerIMG_2832

Posted in Friendship

Water’s Edge (at the Keller Kamp)

Water’s Edge

by Ginger Keller Gannaway   (Me, Momma, Jessica & Ryan Keller in Calcasieu River,1981)

the camp

The Cajun Kellers from Eunice, Louisiana have  always loved going to the water’s edge for vacation.  Grandma Regina had her camp near the Calcasieu River in Indian Village, and she welcomed her six children and 25 grandchildren to enjoy visits there.  Several times a year (and most of the summer), she, her boarder/ best friend, Stella Parrott, her hired help, Jane, who slept on the camp’s back porch, and whichever grandkids were available spent a few days at her Keller Kamp.   The camp was an un-air-conditioned place with a huge screened-in front porch, a side sandbox, a huge middle room with 4 double beds, one baby bed, and a loud attic fan; a side-porch bedroom ; a long kitchen with a long wooden dining table and an extra-deep sink for bathing toddlers and babies in. Also,  off the kitchen was a rustic, dark bathroom with a rickety shower whose wooden splash board banged down every time I tried lifting my kid feet over it to get into the dimly-lit shower stall. 

The camp, like its water, had a hard, tinny feel.  With almost everyone sleeping in one room, an 8-inch black-and-white t.v.  that sometimes got one channel mounted near the attic fan, and no a/c, this wasn’t a luxury vacation.  However, as a 7-year-old, I was in vacation heaven at the Keller Kamp.

On rainy afternoons we kids colored or played cards on the front porch’s picnic tables. Early mornings and late afternoons we’d dig deep into soft brown sand or take turns on the two swings that swung over the sand box that was once a covered garage.  Our hands and fingernails would turn black from digging tunnels and building castles in that sand.  Also, we were next to the river’s bay where mostly men and boys fished from the shore or took small row boats out into the river’s special spots where perch, catfish, and sac-au-lait were biting.

However, the camp’s main attraction was the Sand Bar, a magical  “beach” on the Calcasieu that we reached by walking about half a mile through a wooded area (only when accompanied by an adult). The Sand Bar was a quiet piece of sand on the banks of that beautiful brown river.  We marched there down a well-worn dirt path hauling our towels and drinks and snacks and a couple of folding chairs for the grown-ups.  That walk built-up our anticipation for swimming in our special hidden spot.  Once we arrived and set our towels out in shady nooks, no child dared even get her toes wet until the adult in charge (usually my 6’ 4” Daddy) tested the water’s depth.  Daddy would wade into the moving water until he reached a spot he thought was just deep enough for us kids.  On rare, magical occasions the river was so low Dad could walk completely across “to the other sand bar” with the water only reaching his lower thigh.  Then our exploring and chasing and running and splashing had grand new possibilities.  But most days we stayed on one side of the river and obeyed Dad’s, “Don’t go past this here stick or you get a spanking!”

Alright with me.  The water was cool, the sand was soft and malleable and my siblings and cousins and I had endless types of games to play: chase, freeze-tag, Marco Polo, hide-and-seek, or original dramas we created based on our favorite tv shows at the time, Lost in Space and Gilligan’s Island.  Other times I stayed to myself and created sandcastles or lay on my towel to read Archie comics.  In addition to enjoying the pure joy of swimming at our “private” beach, there was the thrill of the river’s current.  I would kneel in the water to get in deeper and feel the strong tug of the water pushing me and almost tipping me over when I was chin-deep.  People had drowned in that river!  And that  touch of danger and uncertainty added to my thrill in the river.  The cool water, the  sorta muddy sand oozing between my toes, the river’s power,  the shouts and laughter from the other kids, the sun shyly shining through abundant tree branches, the peanut butter & jelly sandwiches on Evangeline Maid bread all blended beautifully to make every Sand Bar visit a memory of vacation perfection.

Years and years later, when Grandma had sold the camp and we kids bemoaned its departure from our lives, I asked Daddy about how much he had loved his time at the Sand Bar.  He smiled slightly and drily said, “All I ever did was count heads the whole time we were there.”  So the water’s edge meant different things to different Kellers, yet we all hold lots of memories about our  wonderful Keller Kamp.

(Ginger, Emile, Kelly, and Gayle Keller at Keller Kamp sand box,1964)

camp sandbox

Posted in Friendship

Evan, the Forever Artist by Ginger Keller Gannaway

IMG_2800

I remember voices coming from my then 3-year-old son’s room when I knew he was playing alone.  Who is he talking to?  The conversation was animated and varied, moving from voices of nervous urgency to calm reassurance.  I walked to the edge of his room and saw Evan dramatically playing with his Ninja turtles and action figures from the Alien movies.  His story included explosive sound effects as the mutant and alien worlds collided.  So early on, my then thumb-sucking boy created his own realities.  At age 4, a crayon helped him explore new forms of creativity.  As he sketched more and more, he mostly mimicked the Pokemon and superhero figures he and his brother loved.  His skill improved, and by 5, as a childhood friend put it, “You say ‘dragon’ to Evan and then BAM! there’s a dragon on the page.”

As soon as our son mastered holding a pencil, he experimented with putting images on paper.  He seemed to claim his future profession in elementary school, forever drawing at the dinner table, on the sofa, in the car, with his friends, or by himself. Often on Friday nights we went out to eat, and Evan invariably scrounged through my purse for scraps of paper or a pen or pencil.

When he matured to double-digits, he learned to have his own drawing supplies. Also, he learned from art teachers, like Ms. Webb at Travis Heights and Mr. Landon at Fulmore Middle School.    He won recognition at school and even once won an online contest to design a playing card for the Xiolin Showdown game.  In high school he experimented with photography and 3-D art, but he disliked the deadlines and restrictions of AP Art class.  In college he expanded his art exploration and surprised me when he majored in art education.  Evan used to encourage family members to draw because like Picasso said, “Everyone is an artist.”  So now he could spread that belief to young students.

Last summer Evan took an ACC pottery class and got up-close and personal with clay.  After college graduation he returned home, pulled out his leftover clay and fashioned these emotive heads: from goblins with menacing grins to elderly faces with pensive poses.  He began revisiting all his old art works, taking pictures, and organizing them.  (Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man)

Now my third-born son emerges before me as a guy with several guises.  He’s still the sensitive soul who carefully captures household spiders and geckos to release them in our backyard.  He’s still the consistent environmentalist who once did laundry in his bathtub at college and  abhors styrofoam and tells us half a paper towel is all you need.  He’s still the simple guy who needs little and wants less.

He’s the forever artist who sees an agile monster with a green grin cradling a bowl of fruit on a blank canvas or a sassy dragon contemplating its toes on an empty piece of paper or a focused ogre with huge lobster hands inside a lump of clay.

I marvel how my super-silly Evanator dancing in a Mardi Gras getup made of toilet paper at age 7 has become a focused, skilled, contemplative artist at age 23 who is ready to show the future that “Everyone is an artist.”

baby artists